Memorials

As the end of May grows closer, I notice my schedule being inundated with a kind of appointment that usually shows up in force one time a year. Yes, my friends, memorial services are being planned and people want us, as music therapists, to provide the music for the event. I don't mind, really, because I believe my job is not to support only the clients in the time leading up to death, but also the clients' families and friends during and after the death. In nursing homes, where I have a lot of clients, people make friends, but the friends can rarely attend the funeral of someone if it means traveling outside the facility. Even if their physical mobility and mental status allow them to attend, they need to find someone to bring them, because most residents do not have a driver's license any more. The facility rarely has enough people working on a shift to spare some to make this trip and the families of residents often have their own lives that are dictating where to be and when to be there. This leaves the friends of clients at the facility, unable to have the closure and ritual celebration of life that often comes with a funeral.

As I'm working with activity coordinators in facilities, I often hear that people want a song or two that are simply reflective and will only be sung by the music therapist. This is understandable. Sometimes that songs that seem to connect to the level of grief of the residents are not songs that are well known. I always try to choose songs that express a level of grief and, when I do more than one, to connect to different levels of grief.

Throughout the year, I try to listen for songs that may be useful in my work with hospice, especially memorial services. I decided I would post a couple songs on this blog that may be useful to others that I feel are fitting memorial songs that people may not know very well, or know at all. When people don't know a song at all, I find, they listen to the words more closely, so the words may be that much more powerful.

Here are three songs I plan on doing at one memorial service. I may post some more as I see them. 

Oh, My Brother - Eddie From Ohio (album: I Rode Fido Home)
    I couldn't find a youtube video for this song. Really great song about supporting each other through hard times. Also talks about saying goodbye, which would be a good talking point if you speak before or after songs. Even if your loved one isn't here to hear it, it's important to say goodbye.
http://www.last.fm/music/Eddie+From+Ohio/_/Oh+My+Brother

I Find Your Love - Beth Nielsen Chapman (album: Look)
     From a whole album written after her husband died. This album chronicles her journey of grief and is really beautiful. Any song from "Look" would make a great memorial service song. In my internship, they did two community memorial services each year and the one I worked on used only songs from Beth Nielsen Chapman

Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World - Israel Kamamawiwo'ole
     He was a big guy with a big heart. I really love his music. This video was made after he died and you can see them pouring his ashes into the ocean.