Music to Cope

Music is a a very effective way for many to cope, myself included. Working in hospice care, coping needs to become an everyday activity in order to avoid burnout. This activity is different for everybody. My coping activities are usually a few different things. I enjoy being outside, exercising (which I do outside), and music. I suppose music is a no-brainer at this point. When it comes to music, there is so much that can be said, both about music's healing effects and about the ability of music to express emotions. I don't want to go into those aspects, but really want to talk about one song I've written and its back-story.

A few weeks ago, I lost two clients whom I had built a strong connect with throughout our sessions. One had been on hospice for around three years and the other had been on hospice for five months, or so. I knew that to protect myself, I needed to have boundaries and should not become emotionally attached to them. I usually do a good job of this. However, when I would be with those clients, I would forget and realize after the fact that I was putting myself in dangerous territory. Long story short, they both died in the same week after a very fast decline. The next week, I was on family vacation, so I was unable to attend, and play for, the funerals, even though I had been asked. This saddened me greatly and I needed to cope. I found it difficult to find songs that talked candidly about death and what it's like to be a caregiver for the dying. Let's face it, it's not a popular subject in our culture. I decided, therefore, to write my own. What came out was a song that many of my co-workers have found a connection with as well. I have decided to post the lyrics and a link to the song.

I Know - Bryan Odeen

I know that I won't see you again, so I'll say "Goodbye, my friend."

But I will not let you go

I know that you're better off at rest, I hope you know that you'll be missed

I hope you know how much I cared

And I know you're up there shining like the stars in Heaven do

But the thing I know more clearly is how much I will miss you

I know we didn't know each other long, but the bond we built was strong

And the friendship we had grew

I knew that someday you would die, so it begs the question why

I let you get so close

And I know you're up there shining like the stars in Heaven do

But the thing I know more clearly is how much I will miss you

I wouldn't give away all the the moments we had along the way

All those moments are all I have

And I know you're up there shining like the stars in Heaven do

But the thing I know more clearly is how much I will miss you

Now for the shameless plug: I'm in a group called Little Bluestem. We recorded this song in my living room on Wednesday, so it's a rough cut. If you like the song, check out our Reverb Nation page at http://www.reverbnation.com/littlebluestem. We're also on Facebook and Myspace or follow us on Twitter (@LBluestemMusic).