Lately, I've been inundated with weddings and, when you are a musician, that means several weekend gigs over the course of a few months. I decided to do a quick little post about some of the music I have done at weddings so far. I actually don't think I have any more weddings to sing at (although I'm standing up in two more), so this makes a good time to recap what I've done in weddings.
Song #1 - Everlong by The Foo Fighters
Before I write anything, listen and watch this video of the original, pre-Bryan version.
My first thoughts, the strumming seems a little too percussive and the vocals are a little to raw/edgy for a traditional wedding. The bride and groom requested to keep all the lyrics as written and asked for it to be "slower", which I found out meant less percussive. Apparently, my computer or myself is unable to post video of the final outcome (turns out "young people" can be technologically deficient). I'll try to explain what I did. After I reworked the song, I played traditional chords instead of the power chords, but kept the same chords themselves (Dmaj7, B9, G9) and played the guitar line that goes with the pre-chorus an octave higher, enabling me to stay closer to the headstock of the guitar. The strumming was almost a campfire strum, with some syncopated accents to bring in the original strumming patterns. I would love to show you (whoever happens to read this), but, as I stated earlier, YouTube does not like me or my computer.
Song #2 - Come Thou Fount
This song is a fairly familiar hymn, so I didn't have to change very much. The girl who sang it with me is a friend of mine, which was fun. She sings in a very pretty mezzo-soprano voice and I have a tenor voice. That meant that if we both wanted to sing the melody the whole time, it could be a wee bit trebly, which isn't always enjoyable. Because she is a soprano, I decided she could have the melody for the whole song (which just fits into the stereotype, doesn't it?). I wanted to change up the song to keep it interesting for the friends and family who drove from all over Iowa (and beyond) to come to the wedding. I split it up as such:
Verse 1- finger picking guitar; voices in unison
Verse 2- finger picking guitar; voices singing harmonies
Verse 3- whole notes plucked with fingers on guitar for first half of verse, then finger picking; voices singing different harmonies
I thought it went pretty well, but I'm not aware of any recording that happened to post a video or sound clip of the whole song.
Song #3 - Song of Ruth, arr. by Eilers
This was in the same wedding as Come Thou Fount (which I also ushered in). It is a really pretty SATB arrangement of (you guessed it), the Song of Ruth found in (right again) the book of Ruth in the Bible. Essentially, in the Bible story, Ruth is saying she will follow Naomi, her mother-in-law, after her son (Ruth's husband) dies. Noami urges Ruth to go back to "her own people", but Ruth pledges her loyalty to her mother-in-law through this song. Basically, it says, where ever you go, I'll go. This song was a great choice the by couple, as the groom has been teaching in Tanzania and the bride had to give up her job and life here in the United States to teach for a few years with him in Africa. The song is written in a "churchy" style, which I hadn't sung in for a year or two. Because it was already written, I didn't have to arrange anything this time and just had to focus on getting the notes and intonation down with the other singers. We didn't practice more than 2 or 3 times total, including the day of, so I was a little nervous, but it seemed to go well. It challenged me to sing out, something I'm notoriously bad at, and listen more to the other people singing, something I don't have to worry about most of the time for work.
Overall, I'd say that I'm very happy with the music for this year's wedding season. Each song challenged me in some way and I felt that the musical product was pretty good in each of them. I can only hope that they couples I helped enjoyed it at much as I enjoyed learning from the songs.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
Music is my therapy too
I think that, occasionally, it's work stating that music is really cool. This statement may make you think "Duh! If it wasn't, you wouldn't be a music therapist!" Before you change pages, however, hear me out. As music therapists, or any other professional who makes a living doing something they love, I think it may be easy to let your love of music (art, recreation, etc) become a bit of a burden. I've talked with a few music therapists who, like me, play music for hours a day, but once they get home, music is not part of their lives. I guess I've only heard it a few times, but it always disturbs me a little bit. If a music therapist loses sight of music as an amazing recreational activity, the therapeutic use of music therapy may become a just a job. Maybe this is the Millennial in me talking, but I want my job to be more than a pay check. I want it to be a calling, a mission, and a sense of fulfillment.
I understand, however, that through the sheer amount of time we spend playing music, we get worn out. If I play guitar all day, and then get home and play all night, I don't only have to worry about carpal tunnel (or other physical ailments). If music was only an activity where I play by myself, I could alienate my wife and other people I love. Therefore, this week, I've been thinking about ways that I use music as therapy for myself.
1) Music in the environment - Turn some music on when you get home. This sounds really basic, but I think people don't always think of this as therapeutic. At home, I like to play music while my wife and I go about our afternoon and evening. It always varies and we take turns choosing the music. My wife and I have some different tastes in music, so we end up learning new music. My wife listens to the radio (country and top 40) and I listen to music that doesn't get a lot of radio play (a lot of independent, experiemental music), so I get introduced to popular music and she gets introduced to music that tends to stretch the ears a bit.
2) Learning about music - I've always enjoyed learning. I like learning new music and musical instruments. My wife likes to poke fun at the number of instruments I've acquired (and still want). Whether I'm getting better at instruments I already have a basic understanding of (like the mandolin, cavaquinho, or violin) or learning something completely different (like the clarinet I got for my birthday), I just enjoy the challenge of learning.
3) Composition - Writing music is probably the most active way I use music as therapy for myself. Even if I don't necessarily sit down to write and process my life's events, they usually end up somewhere in my music. Sometimes, I realize it and consciously choose not to include it in my music, but sometimes it really seems to fit with the song and I keep it. There are other times that I sit down to vent my frustrations and anxieties (or joys), and even if I never end up playing those songs, they help me process the events that brought on the music. It's like holding a mirror to my emotional self.
4) Silence - Believe it or not, sometimes not using music can be just as therapeutic to me as listening, playing, or writing music. Our modern, fast-paced world seems to be very noisy and sometimes I forget what it's like to hear the world, instead of cars, television, and music. I recently took my dog for a walk and forgot my iPod. It was a fantastic time outside and I was reminded how the birds sounded. Now, when I go for a walk or run, I don't bring my iPod, because the world can give me enough to listen to.
I guess that's all I'll write about today. Perhaps over the next couple weeks, I'll expand each of these, because I'm pretty sure I could write for quite a while on each of these subjects.
I understand, however, that through the sheer amount of time we spend playing music, we get worn out. If I play guitar all day, and then get home and play all night, I don't only have to worry about carpal tunnel (or other physical ailments). If music was only an activity where I play by myself, I could alienate my wife and other people I love. Therefore, this week, I've been thinking about ways that I use music as therapy for myself.
1) Music in the environment - Turn some music on when you get home. This sounds really basic, but I think people don't always think of this as therapeutic. At home, I like to play music while my wife and I go about our afternoon and evening. It always varies and we take turns choosing the music. My wife and I have some different tastes in music, so we end up learning new music. My wife listens to the radio (country and top 40) and I listen to music that doesn't get a lot of radio play (a lot of independent, experiemental music), so I get introduced to popular music and she gets introduced to music that tends to stretch the ears a bit.
2) Learning about music - I've always enjoyed learning. I like learning new music and musical instruments. My wife likes to poke fun at the number of instruments I've acquired (and still want). Whether I'm getting better at instruments I already have a basic understanding of (like the mandolin, cavaquinho, or violin) or learning something completely different (like the clarinet I got for my birthday), I just enjoy the challenge of learning.
3) Composition - Writing music is probably the most active way I use music as therapy for myself. Even if I don't necessarily sit down to write and process my life's events, they usually end up somewhere in my music. Sometimes, I realize it and consciously choose not to include it in my music, but sometimes it really seems to fit with the song and I keep it. There are other times that I sit down to vent my frustrations and anxieties (or joys), and even if I never end up playing those songs, they help me process the events that brought on the music. It's like holding a mirror to my emotional self.
4) Silence - Believe it or not, sometimes not using music can be just as therapeutic to me as listening, playing, or writing music. Our modern, fast-paced world seems to be very noisy and sometimes I forget what it's like to hear the world, instead of cars, television, and music. I recently took my dog for a walk and forgot my iPod. It was a fantastic time outside and I was reminded how the birds sounded. Now, when I go for a walk or run, I don't bring my iPod, because the world can give me enough to listen to.
I guess that's all I'll write about today. Perhaps over the next couple weeks, I'll expand each of these, because I'm pretty sure I could write for quite a while on each of these subjects.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Balance
Yesterday, I listened to the new The Music Therapy Show with Janice Harris podcast, which was about balance between work and life. This morning, I saw a quick news report about Millennials in the workplace. A stat they posted during the story was that 34% of young people entering the job force stated that work-life balance is the top priority in choosing a new job. This seems to be a sign that I should follow suit and cover this topic myself.
First off, I feel I should define the word "Millennials." Millennials are the new generation that is just starting to enter the workforce. Millennials come after Generation X (starting around 1986 or so). As a Millennial myself, I feel I can give some insight into this age range. The following statement are generalities and may not be true for everyone, but seem to be a trend. For our whole lives, we've been told we're the best at everything. We have been termed the "Trophy Children" because every little achievement is celebrated. Because of this, we may have been coddled too much and may feel a sense of entitlement when we enter the work place (Heaven knows, I've been guilty of this). We are hard workers, though, and when given the right environment, we can thrive and be quite productive. If you want to read a little more on this new generation, find a copy of The M-Factor: How Millennials are Rocking the Workplace by Lynne C. Lancaster and David Stillman.
This idea of work-life balance seems to be a trend not being adapted only by Millennials, but by others. Self-care can be so important, especially in care giving roles, such as music therapists, nurses, social workers, etc. We seem to want to be a bottomless well of support and assistance, but eventually, we need to take care of ourselves. I've heard of several studies that show a correlation between burnout and poor self-care/coping strategies. If we want to keep doing our job effectively (and enjoy what we do), we need to refill our wells.
I realized pretty early on that I needed to refill, so here are some things I do to take care of myself. The first (and probably biggest thing I did), was change my schedule. I now work 4 10-hour days. I can see more people in one area, which helps me feel more effective, and cuts a day of travel out of the week. This also gives me one floating "mental health"/"domestic duties" day, where I can relax a little bit (right now, I'm sitting in my favorite local coffee shop) and take care of the things around the house that I feel to tired to do after a day of work. Usually, I feel this way regardless of whether I work 8 or 10 hours. Needless to say, my wife appreciates the work I can do at home on my day off. Usually, I take off Fridays, but I like to change it up.
As I discussed in my 4 P's of Coping with Windshield Time post, I do a lot of self-care in the car. It's important for me to process, especially. When I'm aware of my emotions and how they affect the clients I see, I can deal with them effectively. It's like treating the illness instead of the symptoms. I can deal with what causes my emotions instead of simply ignoring my emotions and pretending that other people can't see them.
The last thing I'll write about is taking time to do things you enjoy. I try to go for a run at least 3 times a week (not always fun while I'm doing it, but I feel better afterward). When I get a little spare time on a Saturday morning, I like to play my old Nintendo 64 (and laugh at how poor the picture quality is versus modern systems). Reading books, especially my Bible, are also something I try to make time for.
What are some things you do to balance your work and life?
First off, I feel I should define the word "Millennials." Millennials are the new generation that is just starting to enter the workforce. Millennials come after Generation X (starting around 1986 or so). As a Millennial myself, I feel I can give some insight into this age range. The following statement are generalities and may not be true for everyone, but seem to be a trend. For our whole lives, we've been told we're the best at everything. We have been termed the "Trophy Children" because every little achievement is celebrated. Because of this, we may have been coddled too much and may feel a sense of entitlement when we enter the work place (Heaven knows, I've been guilty of this). We are hard workers, though, and when given the right environment, we can thrive and be quite productive. If you want to read a little more on this new generation, find a copy of The M-Factor: How Millennials are Rocking the Workplace by Lynne C. Lancaster and David Stillman.
This idea of work-life balance seems to be a trend not being adapted only by Millennials, but by others. Self-care can be so important, especially in care giving roles, such as music therapists, nurses, social workers, etc. We seem to want to be a bottomless well of support and assistance, but eventually, we need to take care of ourselves. I've heard of several studies that show a correlation between burnout and poor self-care/coping strategies. If we want to keep doing our job effectively (and enjoy what we do), we need to refill our wells.
I realized pretty early on that I needed to refill, so here are some things I do to take care of myself. The first (and probably biggest thing I did), was change my schedule. I now work 4 10-hour days. I can see more people in one area, which helps me feel more effective, and cuts a day of travel out of the week. This also gives me one floating "mental health"/"domestic duties" day, where I can relax a little bit (right now, I'm sitting in my favorite local coffee shop) and take care of the things around the house that I feel to tired to do after a day of work. Usually, I feel this way regardless of whether I work 8 or 10 hours. Needless to say, my wife appreciates the work I can do at home on my day off. Usually, I take off Fridays, but I like to change it up.
As I discussed in my 4 P's of Coping with Windshield Time post, I do a lot of self-care in the car. It's important for me to process, especially. When I'm aware of my emotions and how they affect the clients I see, I can deal with them effectively. It's like treating the illness instead of the symptoms. I can deal with what causes my emotions instead of simply ignoring my emotions and pretending that other people can't see them.
The last thing I'll write about is taking time to do things you enjoy. I try to go for a run at least 3 times a week (not always fun while I'm doing it, but I feel better afterward). When I get a little spare time on a Saturday morning, I like to play my old Nintendo 64 (and laugh at how poor the picture quality is versus modern systems). Reading books, especially my Bible, are also something I try to make time for.
What are some things you do to balance your work and life?
Friday, May 13, 2011
Being Bold
Disclaimer: It was pointed out to me that this post sounds like it might be in competition with my current job. In no way do I desire to leave my current job. This post is my attempt to encourage advocacy through sharing one instance where I have advocated for my profession.
Today, I met with someone about doing music therapy at the local hospital on my day off. I work 4 10-hour days to cut down on driving time and I thought, "Hey! I've got a day off, I might as well use it to get some more experience." So, a few weeks ago, I called up the manager of the pediatric center and told her about what I'd like to talk with her about. This is me being bold. It may not seem like it to some of you extroverts, but I did something which was contrary to my typical personality. First of all, I made the initiative to make the call. Second of all, it was a cold call. We had never spoken before. Lastly, I asserted myself as someone who can help provide a specialized service. It was hard for me to essentially say, "I would like to help make your services better." It's usually easy for me to downplay myself, but I couldn't do that this time. If I wanted to be taken seriously, I knew I needed to take myself seriously (another bold move on my part).
To my surprise, the manager was not only interested, but said she'd like to meet with me ASAP. When we were done talking, I called up her secretary and scheduled our meeting. Then I began researching, reading, and freaking out slightly.
The meeting was today. We met over coffee and it was a meeting genuinely filled with excitement and ideas. It turned out that she has much bigger plans than I initially thought (this time she was bold). I came in with the idea of just working with the pediatric and birthing centers. She was thinking bigger. We started talking about how music therapy can be more than a "treatment" for patients, but can create a supportive culture in the work place and even be preventative medicine on many levels. We discussed how music therapy can compliment medicinal pain treatments and, sometimes, keep medicines from needing to be used. As the meeting progressed, we became more and more excited.
We parted after about an hour with a follow-up visit in the works. She wants my resume, scope of practice, a job description, and access to some research articles. I left the meeting feeling very empowered and optimistic. I'm not going to quit my "day job" (not that I want to, anyway), but I feel that big things might be in the works. And it all came about because I decided to be bold, call someone I didn't know, and tell them I want to help.
If I can be bold, anybody can. I'm not an extrovert. I'm not overly sure about myself most times. I'm not entirely sure why I called, but I did and, if nothing else, I helped make someone else excited about music therapy. We'll see what happens from here on out.
If you have the time, post a comment about a time when you were bold (be it with music therapy or life in general) and how it worked out.
Today, I met with someone about doing music therapy at the local hospital on my day off. I work 4 10-hour days to cut down on driving time and I thought, "Hey! I've got a day off, I might as well use it to get some more experience." So, a few weeks ago, I called up the manager of the pediatric center and told her about what I'd like to talk with her about. This is me being bold. It may not seem like it to some of you extroverts, but I did something which was contrary to my typical personality. First of all, I made the initiative to make the call. Second of all, it was a cold call. We had never spoken before. Lastly, I asserted myself as someone who can help provide a specialized service. It was hard for me to essentially say, "I would like to help make your services better." It's usually easy for me to downplay myself, but I couldn't do that this time. If I wanted to be taken seriously, I knew I needed to take myself seriously (another bold move on my part).
To my surprise, the manager was not only interested, but said she'd like to meet with me ASAP. When we were done talking, I called up her secretary and scheduled our meeting. Then I began researching, reading, and freaking out slightly.
The meeting was today. We met over coffee and it was a meeting genuinely filled with excitement and ideas. It turned out that she has much bigger plans than I initially thought (this time she was bold). I came in with the idea of just working with the pediatric and birthing centers. She was thinking bigger. We started talking about how music therapy can be more than a "treatment" for patients, but can create a supportive culture in the work place and even be preventative medicine on many levels. We discussed how music therapy can compliment medicinal pain treatments and, sometimes, keep medicines from needing to be used. As the meeting progressed, we became more and more excited.
We parted after about an hour with a follow-up visit in the works. She wants my resume, scope of practice, a job description, and access to some research articles. I left the meeting feeling very empowered and optimistic. I'm not going to quit my "day job" (not that I want to, anyway), but I feel that big things might be in the works. And it all came about because I decided to be bold, call someone I didn't know, and tell them I want to help.
If I can be bold, anybody can. I'm not an extrovert. I'm not overly sure about myself most times. I'm not entirely sure why I called, but I did and, if nothing else, I helped make someone else excited about music therapy. We'll see what happens from here on out.
If you have the time, post a comment about a time when you were bold (be it with music therapy or life in general) and how it worked out.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Memorials
As the end of May grows closer, I notice my schedule being inundated with a kind of appointment that usually shows up in force one time a year. Yes, my friends, memorial services are being planned and people want us, as music therapists, to provide the music for the event. I don't mind, really, because I believe my job is not to support only the clients in the time leading up to death, but also the clients' families and friends during and after the death. In nursing homes, where I have a lot of clients, people make friends, but the friends can rarely attend the funeral of someone if it means traveling outside the facility. Even if their physical mobility and mental status allow them to attend, they need to find someone to bring them, because most residents do not have a driver's license any more. The facility rarely has enough people working on a shift to spare some to make this trip and the families of residents often have their own lives that are dictating where to be and when to be there. This leaves the friends of clients at the facility, unable to have the closure and ritual celebration of life that often comes with a funeral.
As I'm working with activity coordinators in facilities, I often hear that people want a song or two that are simply reflective and will only be sung by the music therapist. This is understandable. Sometimes that songs that seem to connect to the level of grief of the residents are not songs that are well known. I always try to choose songs that express a level of grief and, when I do more than one, to connect to different levels of grief.
Throughout the year, I try to listen for songs that may be useful in my work with hospice, especially memorial services. I decided I would post a couple songs on this blog that may be useful to others that I feel are fitting memorial songs that people may not know very well, or know at all. When people don't know a song at all, I find, they listen to the words more closely, so the words may be that much more powerful.
Here are three songs I plan on doing at one memorial service. I may post some more as I see them.
Oh, My Brother - Eddie From Ohio (album: I Rode Fido Home)
I couldn't find a youtube video for this song. Really great song about supporting each other through hard times. Also talks about saying goodbye, which would be a good talking point if you speak before or after songs. Even if your loved one isn't here to hear it, it's important to say goodbye.
http://www.last.fm/music/Eddie+From+Ohio/_/Oh+My+Brother
I Find Your Love - Beth Nielsen Chapman (album: Look)
From a whole album written after her husband died. This album chronicles her journey of grief and is really beautiful. Any song from "Look" would make a great memorial service song. In my internship, they did two community memorial services each year and the one I worked on used only songs from Beth Nielsen Chapman
Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World - Israel Kamamawiwo'ole
He was a big guy with a big heart. I really love his music. This video was made after he died and you can see them pouring his ashes into the ocean.
As I'm working with activity coordinators in facilities, I often hear that people want a song or two that are simply reflective and will only be sung by the music therapist. This is understandable. Sometimes that songs that seem to connect to the level of grief of the residents are not songs that are well known. I always try to choose songs that express a level of grief and, when I do more than one, to connect to different levels of grief.
Throughout the year, I try to listen for songs that may be useful in my work with hospice, especially memorial services. I decided I would post a couple songs on this blog that may be useful to others that I feel are fitting memorial songs that people may not know very well, or know at all. When people don't know a song at all, I find, they listen to the words more closely, so the words may be that much more powerful.
Here are three songs I plan on doing at one memorial service. I may post some more as I see them.
Oh, My Brother - Eddie From Ohio (album: I Rode Fido Home)
I couldn't find a youtube video for this song. Really great song about supporting each other through hard times. Also talks about saying goodbye, which would be a good talking point if you speak before or after songs. Even if your loved one isn't here to hear it, it's important to say goodbye.
http://www.last.fm/music/Eddie+From+Ohio/_/Oh+My+Brother
I Find Your Love - Beth Nielsen Chapman (album: Look)
From a whole album written after her husband died. This album chronicles her journey of grief and is really beautiful. Any song from "Look" would make a great memorial service song. In my internship, they did two community memorial services each year and the one I worked on used only songs from Beth Nielsen Chapman
Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World - Israel Kamamawiwo'ole
He was a big guy with a big heart. I really love his music. This video was made after he died and you can see them pouring his ashes into the ocean.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Breathing in, breathing out
There have been several life changes for lately. Pretty big ones. I don't want to get into everything that happened, but let's suffice it to say that stress abounds. I have had to implement my own relaxation techniques to keep above water sometimes. I've been doing relaxation exercises with clients and started a relaxation group in my internship. I should have this relaxation thing figured out, right? Sure, if you count knowing and not doing it. Actually doing it, however, is a different story.
I have started to really re-evaluate how I take care of myself starting with how I perceive and deal with stress in my body. I'm starting simply by paying attention to breath. Breathing, it seems obvious to say, is your body's attempt to fuel your body, bring life-sustaining oxygen into your body, and remove poisonous carbon dioxide. Breath can not only keep your body moving, but is also a fairly reliable way to convey emotions. Fast, shallow breaths can convey anxiety. Slow, deep breaths can show a sense of peace and calmness. Being aware of how we breathe may make us aware of emotions and physical sensations that we, as busy modern people, tend to push down and ignore. I've started to take five minutes each day and just breathe.
I encourage anyone reading this to do likewise. Start by sitting in a comfortable position, feet on the floor, shoulders hanging loosely. I usually put on some music and just breathe, concentrating on how it feels to breathe, and trying to pay attention only to my breath or the music. I never try to change how I'm breathing, because I don't want to change how I feel. I simply want to experience the way my body feels and my emotions. By feeling, experiencing, and breathing, I'm able to manage my stress and start to relax.
Sorry for the short post. With Easter travels around the corner, I need to start packing!
I have started to really re-evaluate how I take care of myself starting with how I perceive and deal with stress in my body. I'm starting simply by paying attention to breath. Breathing, it seems obvious to say, is your body's attempt to fuel your body, bring life-sustaining oxygen into your body, and remove poisonous carbon dioxide. Breath can not only keep your body moving, but is also a fairly reliable way to convey emotions. Fast, shallow breaths can convey anxiety. Slow, deep breaths can show a sense of peace and calmness. Being aware of how we breathe may make us aware of emotions and physical sensations that we, as busy modern people, tend to push down and ignore. I've started to take five minutes each day and just breathe.
I encourage anyone reading this to do likewise. Start by sitting in a comfortable position, feet on the floor, shoulders hanging loosely. I usually put on some music and just breathe, concentrating on how it feels to breathe, and trying to pay attention only to my breath or the music. I never try to change how I'm breathing, because I don't want to change how I feel. I simply want to experience the way my body feels and my emotions. By feeling, experiencing, and breathing, I'm able to manage my stress and start to relax.
Sorry for the short post. With Easter travels around the corner, I need to start packing!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Insights: Amazing Grace
Amazing Grace seems to be the quintessential hymn of the United States. People from almost all Christian faiths, and even some who really have no affiliation with Christianity, find comfort in this hymn. Case in point, I seem to play Amazing Grace at least once a day. I try to get away from it sometimes, but it always comes creeping back up. As I've sung it over and over and over, and gotten to the point where sometimes I tend to zone out while I play it, I've had a few personal insights about this hymn that I feel compelled to share.
Insight #1 - Word usage in this song can be a little demeaning, I think. This of course depends on the patient, but sometimes I have a hard time calling someone a "wretch". Say that word out loud. Let the sounds slowly roll off your tongue. It's an ugly word. According to dictionary.com, a wretch is a) a deplorably unfortunate or unhappy person or b) a person of despicable or base character. Working in hospice, the last thing I want to do it tell people they are despicable or deplorable. Even some churches have a hard time with this word, too. One church I went to changed the wording from "that saved a wretch like me" to "that saved and set me free." Not a bad change, I suppose, but anytime I've tried that, it doesn't come out feeling natural. Instead, I have taken to using the word "soul" instead of "wretch". Just the vowels alone make a big difference for me. The e vowel in "wretch", to me, sounds tight, pinched off, and I can't say it without bearing my teeth on some level. My body tends to feel like the sounds and faces I'm making. How can I help someone feel comforted or relaxed when I'm making that face. The o vowel is "soul" sounds, to me, to be open, pure, and vulnerable, just like I want my clients to be with me, and vice versa. I should not expect my client to open up to me when I'm presenting him or her with a closed off appearance and actions.
Insight #2 - The melody of Amazing Grace is easily recognized with everyone I've met on a therapeutic level. Because of the tune's recognition, it automatically can tie in with people's emotions. I have seen many people cry, even weep, while hearing this song. Sometimes the tears seem to be from sadness at having to let a loved one die, sometimes from relief, and sometimes from just having to release all the tension they've been feeling for so long. If this hymn, which was first published in 1779, can be so powerful, how much more powerful can it be when it is personalized to the client. I have tried to add improvised verses for people and changed words within the verses ("When you've been there ten thousand years..."), which has seems to make it more meaningful for clients. One extra verse, which I learned in my internship, has consistently achieved a deeper connection, however. I tend to use this verse when a client is imminent especially when his or her family is present. To the same melody, I'll sing:
Dear Charlie (client's name), you are loved, you are loved, you are loved.
Dear Charlie, you are loved so much.
Dear Charlie, you are loved by your family and God above.
Dear Charlie, you are loved. You are loved.
By using this verse, I'm validating the client and letting them know they are loved by their family. Simultaneously, I'm validating the family and letting them know I can sense the love they have for their mother, father, sister, brother, or friend. It's a simple verse, but has had a large impact on how I approach this song.
Those are all the insights I have at this time. I hope that you all have a great weekend!
Insight #1 - Word usage in this song can be a little demeaning, I think. This of course depends on the patient, but sometimes I have a hard time calling someone a "wretch". Say that word out loud. Let the sounds slowly roll off your tongue. It's an ugly word. According to dictionary.com, a wretch is a) a deplorably unfortunate or unhappy person or b) a person of despicable or base character. Working in hospice, the last thing I want to do it tell people they are despicable or deplorable. Even some churches have a hard time with this word, too. One church I went to changed the wording from "that saved a wretch like me" to "that saved and set me free." Not a bad change, I suppose, but anytime I've tried that, it doesn't come out feeling natural. Instead, I have taken to using the word "soul" instead of "wretch". Just the vowels alone make a big difference for me. The e vowel in "wretch", to me, sounds tight, pinched off, and I can't say it without bearing my teeth on some level. My body tends to feel like the sounds and faces I'm making. How can I help someone feel comforted or relaxed when I'm making that face. The o vowel is "soul" sounds, to me, to be open, pure, and vulnerable, just like I want my clients to be with me, and vice versa. I should not expect my client to open up to me when I'm presenting him or her with a closed off appearance and actions.
Insight #2 - The melody of Amazing Grace is easily recognized with everyone I've met on a therapeutic level. Because of the tune's recognition, it automatically can tie in with people's emotions. I have seen many people cry, even weep, while hearing this song. Sometimes the tears seem to be from sadness at having to let a loved one die, sometimes from relief, and sometimes from just having to release all the tension they've been feeling for so long. If this hymn, which was first published in 1779, can be so powerful, how much more powerful can it be when it is personalized to the client. I have tried to add improvised verses for people and changed words within the verses ("When you've been there ten thousand years..."), which has seems to make it more meaningful for clients. One extra verse, which I learned in my internship, has consistently achieved a deeper connection, however. I tend to use this verse when a client is imminent especially when his or her family is present. To the same melody, I'll sing:
Dear Charlie (client's name), you are loved, you are loved, you are loved.
Dear Charlie, you are loved so much.
Dear Charlie, you are loved by your family and God above.
Dear Charlie, you are loved. You are loved.
By using this verse, I'm validating the client and letting them know they are loved by their family. Simultaneously, I'm validating the family and letting them know I can sense the love they have for their mother, father, sister, brother, or friend. It's a simple verse, but has had a large impact on how I approach this song.
Those are all the insights I have at this time. I hope that you all have a great weekend!
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