This post is on how hospice work affects my priorities. Specifically, I'm talking about priorities related to home/work balance. This issue can be a slight point of contention with people I care about.
Before you think anything, let me explain. I understand that boundaries need to be set between my job and me to prevent burnout and healthy relationships outside of work. I do my best to do this, but I'm still learning, so my work sneaks up on me occasionally. I know this is something I need to continue working on. The thing that makes it hard is that I really enjoy my job and people tend to think about the things they enjoy. You can start to see my dilemma, here.
I think that this issue is compounded by the fact that I see clients and families at one of their most vulnerable moments. By the time they are involved with hospice, many of them have tried all other treatments and they see hospice as "giving up", which it is not. They just want themselves, their mom, their dad, brother, sister, or spouse to be comfortable. That is really where hospice workers shine the most. As a music therapist, I tend to get some special treatment, I admit. Many people, even if they do not understand that what I'm doing with them is therapeutic, enjoy and look forward to my next visit. People I visit benefit from my visits, which makes me feel better, which makes me enjoy my job more. See how this cycle continues? I see people when they need the most help, whether that is a physical, legal/financial, spiritual, or emotional issue they are dealing with. As a hospice worker, my heart naturally wants to help and be with these people and be there for them. I want to give them all the treatment they need, but there are not enough hours in a day to accomplish that task.
This can manifest itself in my everyday life through the choices I make regarding vacation time, travel schedule, my weekly schedule, and extra activities. As I said before, I know I should not be thinking about work all the time when I'm not on the clock. I am trying to be better at it, and I think this blog is helping me to regulate that through critically thinking about my work/home habits. If you have any tips or stories about how work, whether you're a music therapist, hospice worker, or have a completely different job, please let me know.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
How Hospice Works Affects My: Hobbies
This post is about how being hospice music therapist has affected my personal life by changing what I do for fun. As you can guess, my work can get pretty emotionally intense, although it is not as "doom and gloom" as some think. All this can have a pretty big impact on what I do with the rest of my week. After thinking about it, I've come to realize that I tend to do one of two things when it comes to my hobbies the rest of the week. I tend to either do something that uses my brain a lot, but not thinking about hospice, or I do something that my brain can go on autopilot for.
An example of the "autopilot" activities is cycling. I have a friend who is really big into bicycles and got me into it. I never really cared either way about cycling before, but he is so into it that I got sucked in. It's funny how when you find someone really fired up about something, it gets contagious. Basically, when I get out riding, I don't really think about anything. I get a nice workout and feel great when I get back, both physically and mentally. The things that make my brain work a lot and focus on what I'm doing instead of hospice are things like songwriting or reading. I try to read at least a half hour a day, if not more. I do songwriting whenever I have an inspiration. The songs usually start in my car, where I write the lyrics and then get home and try to put the lyrics and melody I created to chords and get the rest of it figured out.
I was thinking about my hobbies and how they help me and how I could make this post applicable to anyone. I think it all boils down to taking care of yourself and not obsessing about one thing. It's almost never a good thing to do that. I think part of taking care of yourself is taking your mind off things. By thinking about one thing all the time, you are putting yourself at risk of burnout. When people get burned out, they don't care about their work and they usually start to do poorly in the work place. In hospice, caring and doing a good job are paramount to our patients getting the care and quality of life they deserve. It is the epitome of a lose-lose situation when you're burned out - you don't want to be there and the people you are with suffer for it. I think this is true for anyone, whether you are a music therapist, teacher, nurse, electrician, etc.
I encourage you to take a few minutes and think about your hobbies. Do they contrast your work? Do they exist at all? How do they affect your patients? How do they affect you? If you realize you don't really have any hobbies that take your mind off work, make a plan and start one. Even something as simple as knitting or getting an exercise program can drastically help.
What are your hobbies?
An example of the "autopilot" activities is cycling. I have a friend who is really big into bicycles and got me into it. I never really cared either way about cycling before, but he is so into it that I got sucked in. It's funny how when you find someone really fired up about something, it gets contagious. Basically, when I get out riding, I don't really think about anything. I get a nice workout and feel great when I get back, both physically and mentally. The things that make my brain work a lot and focus on what I'm doing instead of hospice are things like songwriting or reading. I try to read at least a half hour a day, if not more. I do songwriting whenever I have an inspiration. The songs usually start in my car, where I write the lyrics and then get home and try to put the lyrics and melody I created to chords and get the rest of it figured out.
I was thinking about my hobbies and how they help me and how I could make this post applicable to anyone. I think it all boils down to taking care of yourself and not obsessing about one thing. It's almost never a good thing to do that. I think part of taking care of yourself is taking your mind off things. By thinking about one thing all the time, you are putting yourself at risk of burnout. When people get burned out, they don't care about their work and they usually start to do poorly in the work place. In hospice, caring and doing a good job are paramount to our patients getting the care and quality of life they deserve. It is the epitome of a lose-lose situation when you're burned out - you don't want to be there and the people you are with suffer for it. I think this is true for anyone, whether you are a music therapist, teacher, nurse, electrician, etc.
I encourage you to take a few minutes and think about your hobbies. Do they contrast your work? Do they exist at all? How do they affect your patients? How do they affect you? If you realize you don't really have any hobbies that take your mind off work, make a plan and start one. Even something as simple as knitting or getting an exercise program can drastically help.
What are your hobbies?
Friday, October 14, 2011
How Hospice Works Affects My: Goodbyes
Hey all,
First off, I'd like to apologize for not posting as often as I ought to. Suffice it to say that it has been a pretty crazy few weeks.
I've recently begun to realize how working in hospice care has changes how I've lived my life. It's nothing Earth shattering, but there are just some subtle things that may seem odd to people who don't understand that hospice "lifestyle." So I'd like to do a few posts on specific things that I have noticed in myself. I may make these insights out to be rather melodramatic, but I think they are valid and worth considering.
The obvious choice for me to start is goodbyes. In hospice care, I can never be too sure that I will see any of my clients again before they die. Think about it: we share this really incredible time, sing songs, tell stories, sometimes laugh, sometimes cry, and then we part ways. It almost sounds like what happens when I get together with friends, right? The big difference is that I know the person I'm sharing this time with is dying. There isn't necessarily a "see you later" or a "I'll talk to you soon" after I have a music therapy session with my clients. There is sometimes a "I'll try to stop by and see you again" and a "take care." But very rarely do I say, "I'll see you later." There are really only goodbyes to be said and you need to make them count. If I say, "I'll see you later," and they die before I do, I feel terrible, like I've let them down. I try not to get stressed out (although I'm not always successful) but that is a surefire way to make me feel tense.
How, then, should I remedy this situation? I make sure that every time I leave someone, I've left on the best possible terms. Saying these goodbyes can be a little tiresome at times, but, for me, it beats the alternative. When you say "Goodbye" so make times a day, it becomes a habit. Now, I try to make sure that all my conversations or visits end on good terms. This can take different looks, and some of them might not be easily noticed. One example is that I always say, "I love you" to my wife after talking on the phone, even if it's just a one minute talk where I have to ask her some mundane question. It also means that I like to give out hugs to people when we part ways. After all, nothing is guaranteed, especially life. Say your goodbyes as if (God forbid) you might be hit by a bus or struck by lightning before you see them again.
I'm not saying these things to sound like a saint. I'm simply trying to put my finger on what it is that saying "Goodbye" should really mean. As people, we meet and leave so many people each day and I think we, as people, take life for granted sometimes. The person who gets your coffee for you, works at the bank, takes your messages, comes home to you, and talks to you on the phone all deserve a proper goodbye. Tell them "Thank you" and make sure they know you appreciate them. People need to hear that, especially people who are in a therapeutic relationship with you. Music therapists, especially those in hospice care, need to make sure they are affirming the clients and staff they work with through goodbyes.
So, next time you are saying "Goodbye", I hope you think about what you are saying to them. Make sure your "Goodbye" is one you can end with.
First off, I'd like to apologize for not posting as often as I ought to. Suffice it to say that it has been a pretty crazy few weeks.
I've recently begun to realize how working in hospice care has changes how I've lived my life. It's nothing Earth shattering, but there are just some subtle things that may seem odd to people who don't understand that hospice "lifestyle." So I'd like to do a few posts on specific things that I have noticed in myself. I may make these insights out to be rather melodramatic, but I think they are valid and worth considering.
The obvious choice for me to start is goodbyes. In hospice care, I can never be too sure that I will see any of my clients again before they die. Think about it: we share this really incredible time, sing songs, tell stories, sometimes laugh, sometimes cry, and then we part ways. It almost sounds like what happens when I get together with friends, right? The big difference is that I know the person I'm sharing this time with is dying. There isn't necessarily a "see you later" or a "I'll talk to you soon" after I have a music therapy session with my clients. There is sometimes a "I'll try to stop by and see you again" and a "take care." But very rarely do I say, "I'll see you later." There are really only goodbyes to be said and you need to make them count. If I say, "I'll see you later," and they die before I do, I feel terrible, like I've let them down. I try not to get stressed out (although I'm not always successful) but that is a surefire way to make me feel tense.
How, then, should I remedy this situation? I make sure that every time I leave someone, I've left on the best possible terms. Saying these goodbyes can be a little tiresome at times, but, for me, it beats the alternative. When you say "Goodbye" so make times a day, it becomes a habit. Now, I try to make sure that all my conversations or visits end on good terms. This can take different looks, and some of them might not be easily noticed. One example is that I always say, "I love you" to my wife after talking on the phone, even if it's just a one minute talk where I have to ask her some mundane question. It also means that I like to give out hugs to people when we part ways. After all, nothing is guaranteed, especially life. Say your goodbyes as if (God forbid) you might be hit by a bus or struck by lightning before you see them again.
I'm not saying these things to sound like a saint. I'm simply trying to put my finger on what it is that saying "Goodbye" should really mean. As people, we meet and leave so many people each day and I think we, as people, take life for granted sometimes. The person who gets your coffee for you, works at the bank, takes your messages, comes home to you, and talks to you on the phone all deserve a proper goodbye. Tell them "Thank you" and make sure they know you appreciate them. People need to hear that, especially people who are in a therapeutic relationship with you. Music therapists, especially those in hospice care, need to make sure they are affirming the clients and staff they work with through goodbyes.
So, next time you are saying "Goodbye", I hope you think about what you are saying to them. Make sure your "Goodbye" is one you can end with.
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